Possibly triggering. Eating disordered thoughts.
"I’m not trying to lose weight," Harry pointed out, straw between his lips. "Not anymore at least. I just don’t want to gain any and whenever I eat I feel like I’m putting on a ton." It was a half lie, of course, since Harry did want to lose, to be small like Louis. He didn’t like the competition thought though and frowned at it. ”Don’t do that; don’t lose because I’m losing. My body can handle a bit of weight off, yours can’t. Please Louis,” he begged with a frown, eating another cracker.
"Then that’s a sign that things aren’t right," sighed Louis, knowing eating disorders all to well when he was looking at them objectively - although when they were in his own head not so much. "Your body was perfect the way it was, you looked amazing and everybody knew it. You didn’t have to lose anything at all," he sighed, snapping his last cracker in half to try and drag it out a bit so Harry would be forced to finish earlier than him. "If my head is yelling at me to lose because you are, then what can I do really? I’m trying hard to fight it at the minute but there’s not much more I’d be able to do. Try and get better with me instead?"
Kissing Louis in public was nice. Even though people couldn’t really see and weren’t paying attention, it was flattering to know that Louis wanted to be associated with someone like Harry—someone who could be so cruel, who had hurt him, who had PSTD and ED tendencies and a whole shitload of other things wrong with him. When Finnick Odair was on screen, Harry smiled. The actor was attractive, sure, but Louis thought him more so and that had Harry curling in towards the other boy. ”Thanks,” he mumbled softly, closing his eyes for a moment. ”Does he fall in love?” Harry asked on a whisper.
"He’s already in love," whispered Louis, stroking his fingers through Harry’s hair. "With Annie, the girl who Mags volunteered for. That’s why she volunteered, Annie has really bad PTSD from when she won so she wouldn’t manage in the arena again, plus Finnick would worry about her too much." Of course he knew what happened with Finnick in the end of Mockingjay, but Harry didn’t need to know that. "She didn’t kill anyone in her games, a dam broke and she was just the best swimmer so she lived while everyone else drowned."
I don’t know really? My mum and dad are both in medical professions so they’ll be keeping an eye on me and stuff so I shouldn’t get too bad. I’ll miss people though.
I was 14, someone had mentioned ‘oh if you don’t want to gain weight you can just throw your food up’ like a week before hand and I ate way too much at this party thing and felt really awful about it? It took me ages.
Err, how the fuck am I meant to do that?
Like most of the world I don’t do polyamory.
"5 now," Harry agreed instantly. At least if he got all the crackers in at once, he could maybe sneak off to get rid of them all at once later. It was harder to do with Louis monitoring him like a hawk but the smaller boy still went to therapy and Harry did not. There was time he had to himself and Harry had been spending most of it, lately, in the loo or in his and Zayn’s room. The desperation to move back in with his best friend was looming and he had to fight it off, retreating back to his pantry with an aching heart. "5 now but no juice… unless we split." Harry, now that he’d had some sugar, recognised that the drink was probably just added calories but if he could get some of those into Louis, it’d be worth it.
Louis gave a sigh, taking the carton of juice and taking a quick sip before handing it back to Harry with a grimace from the sweetness. “You can’t keep losing weight,” he mumbled, putting another cracker into his mouth. After chewing it up and choking it down, he started to toy with the one left in his hand. “S’not good for me, I get competitive over weight loss and stuff. If you keep losing it’s going to be more difficult for me to not lose. Not to mention bodies don’t tend to like being made to drop weight when they were healthy to begin with.”
Harry nodded in understanding, watching the characters act on the big screen. He found himself slightly unnerved when Katniss fell into a PSTD fit after shooting a turkey, his heart jumping into his throat and breathing rate quickening. It wasn’t until Louis was cranking up the music after the end of Katniss’ speech to district 11 that Harry began to feel bad. He was going to ruin Louis’ movie experience and for what—so he wouldn’t have a panic attack in the theater. That wasn’t Louis’ responsibility and he felt like a pretty shitty person for forcing the small boy to tend to his whims. Still, Harry couldn’t help but indulge in the kiss, pulling Louis closer by the back of his head and pressing his lips harder against Louis’.
Louis happily kissed back, deciding it’d be fine to uncover Harry’s eyes when he heard Haymitch telling Katniss off for doing her own speech and focusing instead on giving Harry a proper kiss and tangling his fingers in the other boy’s hair. When they pulled apart, he turned off the music buzzing in Harry’s ears, settling into him once again. “See him?” he whispered in the other boy’s ear when he saw Finnick come on the screen. “That’s Finnick. Not as hot as you but he could have been worse I guess.”
Aww, cute. [x]
Loads of stuff. I like the way he cuddles me and we don’t have to talk or anything, we can just stay quiet for ages. I like how he tries to push all the shit he’s dealing with aside and let me know I’m loved when I’m having a bad day or I’m in a bad mood. I like how he actively wants me there with him rather than me just being there. I like how he always make sure to be gentle with me. I like it when he smiles for me.
I could go on for ages but I’d start sounding completely insane and you’d get bored.