Possibly triggering. Eating disordered thoughts.
Zayn nodded and smiled weakly, glad that he had a friend like Louis. His smile only grew when he was sat down on the bed and blankets were being wrapped around him. He really was happy that he and Louis were okay again, and he made a mental note to specifically thank the boy for that later. Zayn let out a happy noise when Louis cuddled him and he instantly felt a little better. At the boy’s question, he shook his head. “Don’t want to bother you with me being depressing and dramatic, s’fine. I’ll be fine.”
“If you need to be depressing and dramatic then be it, yeah? We all know fine is bullshit here,” Louis mumbled, giving Zayn a little squeeze and rubbing small circles on his back as he cuddled him. “Honestly, I don’t mind. If you’d feel better having it out then I’m happy to listen.” He had to admit he was curious about what Zayn had gone through for the kinds of tweets he’d been posting to exist, he just wasn’t sure whether hearing would upset him more than not knowing.
I was upset and I comfort ate but I ate too much and felt bad so I made myself throw up and I felt better as in both physically and not being as upset anymore and from then I just kept on doing it.
No, my princess. Mineminemineminemine.
I can’t draw very well especially not on the computer but I did my best I guess?
Louis sighed as he looked at the next reincarnation of the mac and cheese from an hour ago that had been put in front of him, and with a roll of his eyes pushed it away and put his head on the table instead. It just wasn’t fair really, that everyone else was allowed to lose weight and he was stuck gaining. Niall had lost weight, Harry had lost weight, Perrie had lost weight, and yet here he was getting bigger and fatter and less attractive by the minute - and he’d decided it was time to change that. He’d had the reward of his sisters coming to visit now, he could safely drop a bit since he wouldn’t have to hear disappointed voices on the phone when they were told they couldn’t come, since they’d already visited and another visit wasn’t on the cards for a while. The most he’d get was a telling off and that he could deal with, he could definitely put up with that. A quick glance at the clock said Perrie was due to come soon and he hoped that meant that he wouldn’t be as bored as he was now for long.
Thin, where the hell have you been?
Anger immediately bolted in him, a rush of red bloating his cheeks, but he didn’t let it show. Despite how ready Nick was to blow up, he really didn’t want to ruin whatever this was with Louis. The boy was so ignorant to the world around him, finding purpose in the simplest things and telling Nick lies only to attempt to ease his worries. He wondered briefly if he did the same thing with Harry. Well, that wouldn’t work on Nick. Sighing softly, he took Louis’ concern into consideration and decided to come clean. “Harry. He – It’s complicated, and, well.” Nick could only shrug, not even sure what his intentions were with his words. “I’m just really done with everything, to be honest.”
“Harry? I know he said he made you cry and he thinks you don’t love him anymore,” said Louis, chewing his lip. He still didn’t know where Harry got that from surely this couldn’t have all come down to that cuddle right?Although that might explain the comments about how he should be getting Nick to do things for him instead of Harry (he was pretty sure the older man never did anything that wasn’t purely for himself). “But I’m sure you can sort that out easily enough, Harry doesn’t stay upset for very long.”
“They think I’ll never get better if I don’t talk about it,” Zayn mumbled, “because it lasted a really long time and was basically the reason for my addiction. They think I won’t ever be truly happy because I don’t remember the last time I was without being high, so they keep saying I will go back to heroin to feel happy.” And they’re right, he added in his thoughts, but he didn’t want to say that. Zayn was pretty sure he’d get addicted again once he got out of Waterhouse, but it’d have other reasons. Without drugs he was weak and vulnerable, while with them he had always been powerful. And he liked that, loved the feeling of having control over other people. It wasn’t always like that, of course, but when it was he absolutely loved it. “Thank you,” Zayn whispered softly when they nearly reached the room. “Thank you for taking me away from there.”
“It’s alright, couldn’t leave you in a corridor,” said Louis, giving Zayn’s hand a squeeze as he led him into his room. He decided not to mention that the bit of corridor Zayn was sat in was straight outside the drugs cupboard, the sooner drugs left Zayn’s immediate thought the better. He sat him down on his bed and after grabbing extra blankets that he’d shoved under Harry’s bed and tucking them around Zayn, he sat down next to him and pulled him into a cuddle. “Do you want to talk about it at all? Might be easier since I’m not a nurse and I’m not going to make you say anything you don’t want to.”